De ce sa-ti fie teama cand ai putea sa ai incredere in tine?
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Se intampla frecvent ca cei mici sa fie descurajati de dimensiunea unui proiect pe care il au de facut, sa se sperie de ziua de maine de la gradi sau de urmatoarea lucrare de la mate. De fiecare data ii incurajam si le spunem ca nu au de ce sa se teama, ca totul o sa fie bine iar la sfarsit or sa rada si ei de spaima lor nejustificata.
Insa cand impresiile din mintea lor sunt bine fixate, vorbele noastre venite din afara nu au niciun efect.
Singurul antidot care sa aiba efect este o impresie la fel de puternica dar pozitiva care sa stearga orice idee neproductiva.
“Spune-mi, cum ti-ai dori sa fie maine la serbare?“, poate fi un indemn care sa scoata la iveala toti demonii din mintea celui mic.
Sau “Cum crezi ca o sa fie la testul de la mate?” poate fi o intrebare nevinovata sau declansatoarea unei tragedii.
Cand cei mici incep sa povesteasca situatii tragice in care ei se vor balbai pe scena sau vor da foaia goala, incercati sa-i opriti cu blandete si rugati-i sa spuna o poveste cu final fericit. In care personajele principale sunt chiar ei iar actiunea se desfasoara in jurul probei de foc pe care o au a doua zi.
Faceti-va comozi langa ei si spuneti-le ca vreti sa auziti cea mai frumoasa si fericita poveste despre ziua de maine. Sa va descrie la modul ideal ce ar insemna ca incercarea de a doua zi sa fie un succes.
Pe masura ce incep sa povesteasca cereti-le cat mai multe detalii:
- cum sunt imbracati?
- cum se simt in drum spre serbare/scoala?
- cat de fericiti sunt cand primesc subiectele si vad ca stiu sa faca toate exercitiile?
- cata bucurie ii incearca cand, la finalul serbarii toata lumea ii felicita pentru s-au descurcat extraordinar pe scena?
Genul acesta de povesti au meritul de a forma niste asteptari pozitive in mintea celor mici, transpunandu-i intr-o stare ce prezice succesul deoarece, dupa ce si-au imaginat in cele mai mici detalii cum vor depasi incercarea ce ii asteapta, le va fi mult mai usor sa o infrunte.
E important sa povesteasca si care e cel mai infricosator scenariu in caz de esec, ca sa realizeze faptul ca pana la urma nu e o drama atat de mare. Cand esti pregatit si stii cum sa repari un dezastru, parca lucrurile nu mai par atat de negre. Dar nu uitati ca gandirea negativa este complexul esecului.
Atat optimismul si speranta cat si neputinta si disperarea pot fi dobandite si invatate inca din copilaria mica.
Mintea copiilor este elastica, gingasa si supla iar subconstientul este usor influentabil fiind astfel permanent programat de actiunile proprii si ale celor din jur.
Pentru ca povestea spusa de cei mici sa aiba efect, e important sa contina doar afirmatii pozitive, despre ceea ce fac si ceea ce simt. In loc de “nu ma incurc” folosim “ma descurc perfect”, in loc de “nu ma panichez” folosim “sunt calm si linistit”. Daca celor mici le place sa deseneze ii puteti ruga sa si ilustreze povestea pentru un impact mult mai puternic. Scopul acestui demers are o explicatie foarte simpla: atunci cand te vezi asa cum doresti sa fii, actionezi ca si cum ai fi deja astfel.
Creativitatea copiilor este cel mai mai important dar pe care il avem la indemana pentru a-i invata sa fie fericiti si increzatori.
Ne apropiem de finalul campaniei “Spune DA creativitatii” prin care, alaturi de Danonino, ne-am dorit sa va inspiram cu articole si povesti care sa va ajute in acest proces frumos dar foarte dificil de a modela cat mai corect mintea si personalitatile celor mici.
Evenimentul care va marca incheierea acestei campanii este special dedicat parintilor si copiilor care vor pune in scena 5 scenete scrise chiar de copii.
Supriza de care va spuneam in articolele anterioare este ca pe 10 noiembrie, incepand cu ora 18:00, am sa urc pe scena Teatrului Excelsior alaturi de Ioana Ginghina si impreuna vom da viata uneia dintre scenetele scrise de copiii creativi care au participat la campania “Spune Da Creativitatii”.
Intrarea este libera, pe baza de invitatii. Detalii aici: http://bit.ly/2dWoIiW. Va astept cu drag sa veniti impreuna cu cei mici, promit ca o sa fie multa distractie!
Ca sa fii la curent cu toate noutatile despre Meseria de Parinte nu uita sa:
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Why be afraid when you could trust yourself?
It is common for children to be discouraged by the scale of a project they need to do, to be scared because they have to go to kindergarten the next day or to take a Math’s exam soon. We have to encourage them every single time and to tell them that they have nothing to fear, that everything is going to be just fine and that, in the end, they’ll have a laugh and make fun of their unjustified fear.
But when such belief is deeply ingrained in their minds, our words no longer have any effects on them. The only impactful solution is to encourage them to think positively so that they can remove any unproductive or unsuccessful idea from their minds.
When children begin to imagine tragic situations in which they stutter on stage or give a blank sheet of paper to the teacher at the end of the exam, try to gently stop them and ask them to tell you a story with a happy ending. Make yourselves comfortable next to them and tell them that you want to hear the most beautiful and the happiest story about the following day. An ideal situation shall be therefore described, pointing out the implications brought by a successful day.
Such stories have a lot of merit since they help parents form some positive expectations in the minds of the kids, by allowing them to put themselves in a position which predicts their success under some given conditions, as it will be easier for them to face and overcome a challenge once they have participated in an exercise which has encouraged them to imagine the smallest details regarding the way in which they were going to overcome such challenge.
Both optimism and hope, despair and helplessness may be acquired and taught since infancy.
To make sure that the story told by the kids has the expected results, it is important to make sure that it contains only positive statements related to what they do and what they feel. For example, instead of using expressions such as “I don’t stumble on” we use “I am doing just fine”, instead of using “I’m not panicking” we use “I am calm and easy-going”. If your kids love to draw, you can ask them to make a drawing of the story they are telling so that the exercise can have a stronger impact. The aim of this approach is very simple and obvious: when you see yourself the way you would want to be, you already start acting as if you were already like that. Children’s creativity is the most important gift we are given in order to teach them to be happy and confident.
Learn how to interpret children’s stories in order to discover the secret message hidden inside
I have encouraged you on endless occasions to start reading stories to your children and I really hope you got my message. Today I am going to enlarge upon this subject so that you can understand why it is so important to teach our children to create their own stories and how we can decipher their hidden meaning. When children make up a story on their own in a spontaneous way, they don’t just make it up starting from their own experience but also based on their own values, desires, needs and concerns. In technical terms, this is called “projection” because the child is actually “portraying” his/her own inner personality, so that it can be seen by the outside world.
Experts say that, even when the child makes up a story out of the blue, he/she is actually the hero of the story. When you want to identify the secret meaning of the story think about the way in which the main character is described: is he/she decided? is he/she happy? Does he/she have many “battles to fight”? does he/she know what to do? Does he/she feel confident or helpless?
When we have acquired enough information about our hero, it’s time to see how he/she deals with the problems that come up. First we need to find out if the story has a positive or negative connotation.
The stories told by our children allow us to identify their own personal values. Experts agree that the most important values to instil in our children are: honesty, trust, patience, kindness, responsibility, courage, resilience to face challenges, empathy and acceptance of others.
As I was telling you before, the stories made up by our children are actually internal representations of their inner personality, which is revealed by means of the main characters in their stories, whereas the sense of initiative and the children’s personal purposes are revealed by the manner in which they deal with their own problems. Our children’s values are mirrored in their heroes’ behaviours.
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